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I drive with my window open, allowing the cool of the morning to shape my hair as I make my way to my blessing of a workplace. The surrealism of the thing that had transpired holds me in hypnosis. The music I listen to is sad and beautiful. I wonder what the others sharing this road are concerned with. Do they all feel as I do? Does my soul entwine with theirs as we share the light of a new day? What an egocentric concept.
I am bound to this fate for the remainder of my youth. The plant that changes, grows, is by far the most intriguing. To see it flower is most magnificent of all.
For a brief moment, the reality to which I perceive had fixated on another entity — an expression of the cosmos that just so happened to walk this sphere in the time that I did — a girl, a woman. This creature has a beauty that transcends all that preceded her.
Our time together is perfect. There is literally no other human word that fits the description. We connect in a way that I have not felt before. There is no friction. We glide together effortlessly. I hope that she feels this way too.
It is so sweet because I know that at will end. As I enter this relationship I can feel already the exit, we both can. Life is so sweet because we know that it will end. I savour each quantum interaction whilst simultaneously preparing for the inevitable. It is of the same balance to which holds together a star.
Back to the asphalt pathway on which I fly, I now call upon logic to stabilise my exposed core, thinking of paradigms and evolution; the situation could, in a way, be accounted for by these concepts.
It is the nature of many to want to cross the border, climb the tree, swim in a different ocean. Those with wanderlust have always existed, but have perhaps lacked a rapid medium in which to spread their ventures. With our technology, we make our world smaller, expose its secrets. Seeing others make it to the second stepping stone encourages us to take the leap to the first. It’s a good thing. We should explore, should progress. This primal urge should be capitalised on: it will be the thing that saves us.
How can I stop her when I strive to do as she does?
We have become more independent, more comfortable with ourselves, less so inclined to form ritual ties that lock us so young into a state of passive change. This behaviour will certainly stack upon itself, become standard. It is both fortunate and unfortunate that we exist in the infantile phases of this shift. We will feel it the most, and try to lay the blame on other aspects of our lives. Our species will utilise this most primitive disposition or it will implode. I cannot be certain that I will see the result of either pathway, or even comprehend the existence of another.
What I can be certain of is that for a brief moment I was here, she was here. We drew breathe together; perceived sound, hand-in-hand; touched so delicately; bathed in the light of the sky, and floated in the oceans beneath it.
I wouldn’t change a thing.